This one word could describe my life right now. I am writing this because of the last book I read talking about how to re-organize your life. 32 days ago, my dad has gone. In the beginning, I couldn't cry. Now, I can't stop crying about everything. Everything reminds me of him. His favorite stuff became my nightmare. I dream of him every day, too. One week from his death, I took my exams. I didn't remember how I did in them. I knew they were not how I supposed to do, but I am not aware of how I did. I wish I could have cried when he passed. I wanted to cry a lot but I didn't have the ability to face myself with the fact of his death. He died between my shoulders. I just saw his color turned to yellow like how my grandpa seemed before death. I heard my brother told him some prayers that a person says before death and I just shouted at him to stop. I spent time squeezing his feet to make him shocked. I even talked to him, I said don't go, don't leave me, not now
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